How To Control Your Bias Right In Negotiations

How do you control your bias in negotiations? Do you even lend thoughts to how you’re being influenced by your biases in your negotiations?

Everyone is biased to a degree. It’s the degree that we recognize our biases and how they affect our thoughts that allow us to benefit from them. Since our biases can shield us from harm or prevent us from experiencing opportunities, we have to be very mindful of the influence they have on our actions during a negotiation.

The following are ways in which you can improve your negotiation efforts based on the recognition and control you maintain over your biases.

  1. “… but that’s not what he said!” When you’re involved in a negotiation, consider how your biases impact your interpretation of what’s discussed. To the degree you have preconceived notions and/or opinions about what’s being negotiated, you’ll seek confirmation of what’s stated to match your notions. Stated in another manner, you’ll seek to define in your mind what’s said based on what you ‘want’ to be the truth. That can be dangerous; you may miss vital insight and information because what’s being said doesn’t meet your expectations.
  2. To thwart the effects of what’s known as confirmation biases first, recognize the fact that you are predisposed to certain beliefs then, reflect on how keeping an open mind will allow you to assess new data without initially being judgmental about it. In essence, think about the way you’re thinking per the biases you possess. If you alter your thoughts and place your biases in a ‘time out’ area of your mind, you’ll be able to see offers/counteroffers from another perspective. That altered perspective may be what’s needed to get you past an impasse.
  3. Understand your emotional state when assessing your biases. During the flow of a negotiation, things may get heated. At such times, unknowingly you may subconsciously refer to a time in your mind when someone took advantage of you in such a situation. As such, this time, you dig your heels in and become very determined to fight like heck. Your subconscious thought is, I won’t let what happened to me before happen again.
  4. Be mindful of your point of reference. To add additional insight to point number 3 above, always consider your point of reference as to what you’re comparing your current situation (offer/counteroffer) to and why. Understand the point of comparison reference will give you more insight per why one aspect of an offer may be more or less appealing.

When analyzing and assessing offers/counteroffers in a negotiation, every negotiator is biased to some degree. So, when contemplating offers/counteroffers, consider if you’re being biased and if so, why. By doing so, you’ll be more alert to the degree of influence biases are having on your decisions. You’ll be able to also identify the source of your biases per how they’re influencing your decision-making process. That will prove to be a point from which you’ll be able to make better negotiation decisions… and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

Why Your Past Affects Your Present And How To Change That

The past is a powerful place. It is where we spend up to 90% of our time. We have between 40, 000 and 60,000 thoughts per day and around 90% of them are spent thinking about the past. We can fret over tiny little slights, real or imagined; we can go over and over a conversation that we had, trying to pick out the ‘real’ meaning behind the words that the other person used; we can wish that outcomes had been different. We can do all of these things, but the one thing that we absolutely cannot do is change the past.

There are people perhaps known to us personally and several public figures who have overcome some horrendous situations and gone on to become remarkable individuals who have changed the course of the world. Nelson Mandela springs to mind. He had two choices, to hate the regime that had imprisoned him for 27 years of his life and so become bitter and twisted himself, or to forgive them, because in doing so he gave himself inner peace. He chose the latter and went on to become one of the most admired men in the world.

There are also people who have had bad things happen to them (or sometimes, things that other people don’t really consider to be that bad). These people have allowed themselves to be defined by that thing and have become unhappy and depressed. These people have lost their way and allowed their past to create their present, which in turn creates their future.

Which are you? Obviously, we are not all going to become a Nelson Mandela-like icons, but we can all choose to live the lives we want to live. It is a simple thing to stop your past from impacting upon your present and your future. Simple, but not easy.

Leaders, religious, political, educational and spiritual alike have said for centuries that they way you think affects the person that you are. Three examples, from three totally different sources:

Buddha said “The mind is everything. What you think, you become”
Einstein said “Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions”
Stephen Covey said “Live out of your imagination, not your history”
The theory is simple. The execution much more difficult. You simply have to think the life you want to have. You need to imagine it – totally and completely. Not a longing, with no actual effort being made to move towards it.

Top athletes use visualisation to improve their performance. Interestingly, experiments have been done that show that when a runner imagines running a race, really focuses and imagines everything; the starting blocks, the gun, the other runners, the smell of the racetrack, the sound of their breathing – everything – a strange thing happens. The muscles in their bodies respond as if they were really running the race! The mind and body don’t know the difference between real and imagined, if that imagined is detailed enough.

What could this mean for you? What can you imagine now that you are aware that imagining it in enough detail can make it happen?

Valentine’s Presents – Delight Someone Special With A Thoughtful Valentine’s Gift Idea

Few people know the real origins of Valentine’s Day and it always amazes me how quickly celebrations of any kind become so very commercialised. Whose idea was Mother’s Day, Father’s Day and more recently Grandparent’s Day. Is it because we are so busy with our lives that we need a ‘special’ day to be reminded to think about and be grateful for our families and loved ones and all they do in our lives? What about a son’s day or a twin sisters day? We should be able to express our emotions and show how we feel about the people we care for any day of the year. That aside it is nice to have an excuse and in the case of Valentine’s Day can be a good way to let someone know how you feel who you may not have had the courage to approach otherwise.

So, one of the most traditional Valentine’s gifts are red roses. Have you ever noticed how some retailers double or even treble the price of red roses around Valentine’s Day? Extortion is the word that comes to mind – although they are under great pressure to deliver vast quantities in a short period of time. Why not consider for a refreshing change sending someone flowers other than red roses? Perhaps choose a bouquet in their favourite colour or an arrangement featuring their favourite flower – orchids are a popular choice and they are grown in a huge variety of colours. Even more thoughtful would be a rose-bush for their garden or a miniature one for indoors – that way they can have roses every year and for more than a week!

As popular as red roses for a Valentine’s present is chocolates! Instead of just buying commercially available boxes of chocolates with foil wrapped hearts in a red-heart shaped box, ‘nice but not very personal’, try instead making your own sweet treats. Strawberries dipped in chocolate, heart-shaped biscuits or a heart-shaped cake, or even buy some chocolate moulds, melt their favourite chocolate and make your own – you will be pleasantly surprised how easy it is.

How many ways can you say I Love You? Nine if you choose this really great gift idea of nine stones carved with “I love you… ” on the front, and a different “reason” on the back:
… for always getting my jokes
… because you’re an inspiration
… because you are so much fun
… because of your great smile
… for being so giving
… because I just do!
… because you love me
… because you rock
… for your honesty

The stones are presented beautifully in a red faux-suede drawstring pouch – why not give your sweetheart one each day leading up to Valentine’s. These stones actually make a great gift for any friend or family member you feel strongly about and should not be reserved just for Valentine’s Day.