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Valentine’s Presents – Delight Someone Special With A Thoughtful Valentine’s Gift Idea

Few people know the real origins of Valentine’s Day and it always amazes me how quickly celebrations of any kind become so very commercialised. Whose idea was Mother’s Day, Father’s Day and more recently Grandparent’s Day. Is it because we are so busy with our lives that we need a ‘special’ day to be reminded to think about and be grateful for our families and loved ones and all they do in our lives? What about a son’s day or a twin sisters day? We should be able to express our emotions and show how we feel about the people we care for any day of the year. That aside it is nice to have an excuse and in the case of Valentine’s Day can be a good way to let someone know how you feel who you may not have had the courage to approach otherwise.

So, one of the most traditional Valentine’s gifts are red roses. Have you ever noticed how some retailers double or even treble the price of red roses around Valentine’s Day? Extortion is the word that comes to mind – although they are under great pressure to deliver vast quantities in a short period of time. Why not consider for a refreshing change sending someone flowers other than red roses? Perhaps choose a bouquet in their favourite colour or an arrangement featuring their favourite flower – orchids are a popular choice and they are grown in a huge variety of colours. Even more thoughtful would be a rose-bush for their garden or a miniature one for indoors – that way they can have roses every year and for more than a week!

As popular as red roses for a Valentine’s present is chocolates! Instead of just buying commercially available boxes of chocolates with foil wrapped hearts in a red-heart shaped box, ‘nice but not very personal’, try instead making your own sweet treats. Strawberries dipped in chocolate, heart-shaped biscuits or a heart-shaped cake, or even buy some chocolate moulds, melt their favourite chocolate and make your own – you will be pleasantly surprised how easy it is.

How many ways can you say I Love You? Nine if you choose this really great gift idea of nine stones carved with “I love you… ” on the front, and a different “reason” on the back:
… for always getting my jokes
… because you’re an inspiration
… because you are so much fun
… because of your great smile
… for being so giving
… because I just do!
… because you love me
… because you rock
… for your honesty

The stones are presented beautifully in a red faux-suede drawstring pouch – why not give your sweetheart one each day leading up to Valentine’s. These stones actually make a great gift for any friend or family member you feel strongly about and should not be reserved just for Valentine’s Day.

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Influence the Future by Improving the Odds in the Present

The new year is well under way and I will try and avoid the usual discussions, posts, and tweets about resolutions. This article relates to a belief I have that there is more to life than just randomness as many of the quantum theorists will tell us. It is not that I don’t believe in Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle or Chaos Theory but I have lived and breathed long enough on this planet to have witnessed and experienced events that suggest to me that there must be some ability to affect the quanta of the present to influence the future. Of course, most of us want to believe that not everything in life is just random as experiments in quantum physics have shown us. Most of us want to believe that if we put effort into the system we can tip the odds in our favour. I firmly believe that not only is this possible but it is what makes some people seem more “lucky” than us.

Let’s take the example of health for a moment. When you look at a disease like cancer it appears to be quite random. Everyone knows of that person who lived a very healthy life by not drinking and not smoking and exercising everyday but still developed cancer at a young age. Even more horrifying is when young children develop cancer – it just appears so random and it most cases, it is. There is however significant reams of research which demonstrates that through our efforts of maintaining a healthy lifestyle, we can turn the odds in our favour. It certainly does not mean that you have ultimate control over your fate, it just means that you can improve your odds.

If we accept that our intentions can improve our odds in health, it begs the question of whether our efforts can affect other measurable indicators such as prosperity. Once again it is clear that at its base, randomness is at play. Whether you were born into affluence or not was (depending upon your belief) a random fluke. As with health, there are numerous examples of people who were born into abject poverty but through sheer will and determination influenced the odds of the future and dramatically improved their state of affluence. When you take a look at anything life, any goals you might have or anything you might desire, at its base starts randomness. I believe we must accept the randomness but get better at playing the odds. While I don’t play poker, I know enough about the game to know that by learning the rules, a few tricks, and a bit about probability, you can become a better poker player. Randomness is inherent in the game of poker as it is in life but learning how to work with the odds can affect the future.

When things in your life seem to be not going well, know that your time will come – much like the wave which is in the trough, it will rise again. Also know that you can influence when that wave will rise. Believe in your ability to affect the odds of anything in your life. Learn the rules of the game and understand the odds and what you can do to improve them. If it works in games of chance, it can work for anything. The variables for your goal might be different and more complex than a game of cards but with intention and effort, the rules can be learned and you can gain confidence in your ability to influence the future by playing the odds of the present.

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How To Control Your Bias Right In Negotiations

How do you control your bias in negotiations? Do you even lend thoughts to how you’re being influenced by your biases in your negotiations?

Everyone is biased to a degree. It’s the degree that we recognize our biases and how they affect our thoughts that allow us to benefit from them. Since our biases can shield us from harm or prevent us from experiencing opportunities, we have to be very mindful of the influence they have on our actions during a negotiation.

The following are ways in which you can improve your negotiation efforts based on the recognition and control you maintain over your biases.

  1. “… but that’s not what he said!” When you’re involved in a negotiation, consider how your biases impact your interpretation of what’s discussed. To the degree you have preconceived notions and/or opinions about what’s being negotiated, you’ll seek confirmation of what’s stated to match your notions. Stated in another manner, you’ll seek to define in your mind what’s said based on what you ‘want’ to be the truth. That can be dangerous; you may miss vital insight and information because what’s being said doesn’t meet your expectations.
  2. To thwart the effects of what’s known as confirmation biases first, recognize the fact that you are predisposed to certain beliefs then, reflect on how keeping an open mind will allow you to assess new data without initially being judgmental about it. In essence, think about the way you’re thinking per the biases you possess. If you alter your thoughts and place your biases in a ‘time out’ area of your mind, you’ll be able to see offers/counteroffers from another perspective. That altered perspective may be what’s needed to get you past an impasse.
  3. Understand your emotional state when assessing your biases. During the flow of a negotiation, things may get heated. At such times, unknowingly you may subconsciously refer to a time in your mind when someone took advantage of you in such a situation. As such, this time, you dig your heels in and become very determined to fight like heck. Your subconscious thought is, I won’t let what happened to me before happen again.
  4. Be mindful of your point of reference. To add additional insight to point number 3 above, always consider your point of reference as to what you’re comparing your current situation (offer/counteroffer) to and why. Understand the point of comparison reference will give you more insight per why one aspect of an offer may be more or less appealing.

When analyzing and assessing offers/counteroffers in a negotiation, every negotiator is biased to some degree. So, when contemplating offers/counteroffers, consider if you’re being biased and if so, why. By doing so, you’ll be more alert to the degree of influence biases are having on your decisions. You’ll be able to also identify the source of your biases per how they’re influencing your decision-making process. That will prove to be a point from which you’ll be able to make better negotiation decisions… and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

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